Komi Can’t Communicate: Your Go To Guide For Social Anxiety
Komi Can’t Communicate’s intro:
“When a person has extreme Social Anxiety also known as Social Phobia. They struggle to communicate with others. Here’s something to consider they are only struggling, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to form long-lasting connections or friendships”.
Komi Can’t Communicate is a high school Slice of life, Comedy Drama that features a girl named Komi( also known as the Goddess of her school because of her overwhelming beauty) who struggles to communicate with others i.e she has social anxiety and how she goes about tackling that issue.
Season 2 of Komi Can’t Communicate started airing on April 27, 2022. So check it out if you haven’t already.
Here are 10 ways of overcoming social anxiety just like Komi:
1. Make Friends
When fighting social anxiety having friends by your side can be your greatest weapon. Everyone needs a friend. The best part of it is that you get to choose who you wanna be friends with. If you are a person with social anxiety you are in urgent need of friends.
The ‘social‘ part of your problem would be solved right after you take the first step towards making friends. It does sound scary but I promise you won’t regret your choice of taking the first step in the long run.
Komi didn’t have a single friend when she started high school. But since the time she made the first move of talking to Tadano has led her to have more friends than she ever expected. Her life has taken a 360-degree turn since the time she got friends to do things with. Taking the first step looks scary but it’s the most important one.
2. Take One Simple Step At A Time
Sometimes when we are trying to make changes for the better in ourselves. We tend to overthink and go overboard a lot of times. You don’t have to go all out on the first day itself. Take your time and try to do one thing at a time. Like it’s said ‘a good beginning is half done’.
Komi shows us just how we should do this. She wants to make a lot of friends in high school. So she doesn’t approach everyone on the same day. She starts by talking to Tadano first and keeps doing that for a while to her build confidence before moving on to someone else. It may look like a little step but it’s still a step forward.
3. Challenge Yourself By Saying ‘Yes’
We won’t grow unless we break out of our comfort zone. Real change starts with the desire to change backed by continuous efforts. The best way to become a better version of yourself is by saying ‘Yes’ to things.
People with social anxiety have one answer to everything that is ‘No’. If you keep saying No to going shopping with your friends or going to a party with them. Then I am sorry my friend, no real change is going to transpire. Trying to say ‘Yes’ more often may befrightening in the beginning but in the end, you will be glad that you chose to experience those things.
Komi has trouble communicating with her friends. But still, she tries to say Yes to doing things with them like going out to eat ramen and going clothes shopping.
4. Break Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Comfort Zone is a state where things feel familiar to a person and they are at ease and in control of their environment. As long as we keep ourselves confined to our comfort zone no real progress is going to take place. You might think you have everything under control but that’s far from the truth.
When this happens you stop striving to achieve your goals, you stop challenging yourself, you let opportunities slip by, and you become overly complacent.
The only way to grow is by stepping outside of your comfort zone. As Neale Donald Walsh once said, “Life begins outside of your comfort zone.”
Talking to people is something that is outside Komi’s comfort zone. So she conveys her feelings through her writing. Here’s a hint for yeah, take a page out of Komi’s book if you can’t break out of your comfort zone then mould it instead.
5. Start By Saying ‘Hi’ To Your Friends
People with social anxiety tend to keep a wall between themselves and the people around them. The simplest way to breach this wall is by starting to say ‘Hi‘ to them. It’s as simple as that. A simple greeting like that shows that you are interested in talking to them and makes you seem a lot more approachable.
Komi has been dealing with her problem of not being able to communicate with others since her childhood. But all that starts to change after she makes Tadano her first friend ever. Though Tadano is her friend she still struggles to even say something as basic as a ‘Hi’ to him but when she does it makes it a lot easier for him to talk to her.
6. Buy Yourself A New Outfit
People with social anxiety suffer from low self-esteem and have no so confidence in their abilities. One way to overcome this identity crisis is by remodelling your wardrobe. Go shopping to buy a new outfit for yourself. Buying clothes for yourself is going to help you to understand what you want and how you want others to perceive you as. Plus it’s the best way of bringing joy to your life. When you have social anxiety, happiness is already scarce in your life. So take every chance you get to end that.
[“The human minds work in mysterious ways sometimes you just need to see the sun shining in the morning to feel energies. A blue sky can make you feel happy that you are alive”]
Wearing a nice outfit will make you feel the same emotions that you experience when seeing a blue sky. It will provide you with the initial push to get on with the day.
Komi goes shopping for clothes for herself for the first time with her friends. Her mom has done all the shopping for her up till now. So she doesn’t know what to buy. Her friends capitalise on this opportunity by making it a competition among themselves in seeing who picks the best dress for Komi. A simple thing like shopping turns into such a fun activity. You won’t know how things will turn out unless you give it a try right?
7. Set Goals
Setting goals for yourself is the most essential step in conquering social anxiety. Unless you don’t know what you want to accomplish? How the hell do you expect yourself to achieve it? To achieve something it’s important to have a clear path and that path is set by your goals.
Komi has a dream of making 100 friends, that her end goal. To make that a reality she has various short term goals such as going shopping, going out to eat ramen, celebrating her birthday, and participating in the annual cultural festival with her friends.
8. Keep It Simple
Always keep things simple. Just because you have social anxiety doesn’t mean you have to try every trick in the book to overcome it. I mean you already have your hands full with your social phobia and now when you start complicating matters. You are just inviting more trouble for yourself.
In the anime, Komi knows she finds it difficult to verbally communicate with her classmates. So she uses a notebook to convey her feelings through her writing. Trying hard to overcome your phobia is not enough. How you go about doing it is as important.
9. Have A Shoulder To Lean On
Ask someone for help, most possibly a friend. Having a person who is willing to listen to your problems and give you support and encouragement is a game-changer. It doesn’t matter if he/she has the answers to your problems or not. As long as they lend you a listening ear is more than enough if you ask me.
In the anime, Komi has Tadano who listens to her problems and tries to support her in every way possible. He always looks out for her from a distance showing he cares but at the same time lets Komi fight her way out of her problems on her own.
I don’t think you need to worry yourself about having a bunch of people to rely on having just one is more than enough. That goes for everyone, with social anxiety or without.
10. Embrace Who You Are!
Don’t be ashamed of yourself. Just because you have social phobia doesn’t mean you should reject yourself. Cherish being alone. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself some alone time. That’s just who you are, it’s part of you so cherish it. And how do you expect others to like you, when you don’t like yourself to begin with?
Komi has trouble communicating with people something she has inherited from her father, who has social phobia himself. She is aware of that but she doesn’t try to hide it from everyone. She communicates through writing messages since she lacks verbal communication. Her friends still listen to her irrespective of how she does it. Being true to yourself should be your priority before trying to change yourself.
People with social anxiety also known as social phobia shouldn’t feel sorry for themselves. Don’t try to live your life the way others expect you to. Don’t try to change yourself to please/suit others. As long as you stay true to yourself, eventually, you will be surrounded by people who accept you for who you are despite all your quirks.